A few years back, self-help guru Stephen Covey wrote a book which is still a best seller, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Personally, I didn’t read it but we know who we are, don’t we? As a longtime grooming shop proprietor, I would like to turn his maxims upside down to give my fellow shop owners some food for thought. Exactly which ones of these habits I garnered through personal experience will remain my little secret - unless, of course you happen to be one of my previously disgruntled employees.
1. Take all the credit. If Mrs. Jones goes into rhapsodies over that wonderful scissoring job on her Standard Poodle, just smile a little “aw shucks” grin and say thank you. No need to tell her that the one who actually did the work was not you but Mary, your amazingly talented groomer. Act humble while accepting her praise and quickly rebook her for six weeks. When Mary asks how she liked the job, tell her the customer was thrilled and would never take her dog anywhere else.
2. That’s the way we always did it. Keep a closed mind to all new industry innovations and equipment. Say things like “An expert scissorer has no need for snap-on comb attachments. I never used them.” “The only state-of-the-art bathing system we need around here is a good strong back and some get-up-and-go.” “We don’t need all those fancy dematting products. What’s wrong with a little elbow grease?” If any employees point out that you are now running the shop with a computer, tell them to mind their own business and get back to work.
3. Put customers ahead of common sense. When Mr. Brown shows up asking for a two-inch puppy cut on Mugsy, his cranky Lhasa Apso who hasn’t been groomed in six months, just give him a time to come back and tell him to have a nice day. You’ll probably lose a couple of fingers if you try to feel Mugsy’s coat anyway so usher that bad boy into the groom room and tell the staff this one might need some dematting. If you hear any groomer grumbles, just remind them that the customer is always right.
4. Expect everybody else to be a no-lifer. Be open for business on Sundays and holidays. Offer evening appointments. When staffers complain, tell them about that big salon in the next town where they groomed 100 dogs on Christmas Eve. Act extremely put-upon when employees request a day off for a family reunion, their sister’s wedding, that Aerosmith concert or the trip to the Bahamas they won from the radio station. Remind them how you used to walk to work through hip-deep snow just to groom those dogs. Just loud enough so that they can hear you, mumble under your breath “Someone has to do the work around here.” If anyone is heartless enough to point out that weekends don’t matter to you because you haven’t had a date in six years, grab a tissue and run into the bathroom sobbing.
5. Take no interest in their lives. When you ask Peggy if she will be bringing Bob to the Christmas party and she reminds you that they have been divorced for two years, just shrug it off. When George tells you of the rare piece of French Colonial furniture he bought at the Antiques Fair last weekend, keep buffing your nails and tell him “It’s all just old junk to me.” If anyone takes offense to your remarks, tell them to get over it. After all, you may be judgmental but you are just being honest. Just because they might enjoy such activities as tractor pulls, monster truck rallies, wrestling matches or Texas Two-Step dance competitions in their free time doesn’t mean you have to share their enthusiasm.
6. Communicate via Post-it note. You’re a very busy person and it’s not always convenient to seek out your employees for a face-to-face chat so if you are docking their pay because they left early, changing their vacation dates because you had already planned to take that week yourself or downsizing staff because the busy season is over, just leave a sticky note on their grooming post or paste one on their paycheck. In the interest of fairness, if you are terminating the employee, be sure to add your thanks and best wishes for the future. Another time-saver: You can also do performance reviews this way.
7. The power of negative nagging. To heck with Norman Vincent Peale - too much positive thinking can raise expectations to unreasonable levels. Make sure you keep your employees from getting swelled heads by offering constructive criticism whenever possible. “Don’t you think those lines need a little blending? It looks like you groomed that dog with a machete.” “When’s the last time you had your eyes tested? Maybe it’s just the angle I’m looking from, but isn’t one of Sammy’s ears about two inches longer than the other?” “That poodle’s topknot is flopping like a flapjack.” Keep a pair of scissors in your pocket so you can touch up their work and correct their mistakes.
8. Here’s a tip for you. When your employees ask you to display a tip jar on the counter, ask them if you look like Sally Struthers soliciting donations for poverty-stricken orphans in Third World nations. Or maybe they would like you to park yourself on the sidewalk with a tin can and some pencils, huh? Please! Tell them the tip jar should go the way of the finger bowl or the spittoon. What kind of a tacky establishment do they think you’re running here? Summon your most morally superior attitude and inform them that if the client is kind enough to leave a gratuity, they can rest assured you will give it to them just as soon as you get the chance. Feel free to share these helpful hints with fellow shop owners when you gather at the next grooming convention. While you’re at it, you may also want to ask them where you can find good help these days.